just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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