Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
