the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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