its not stalking. its research.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
