My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
