Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
