Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize