either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
