What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
