the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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