I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize