Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
