this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
