So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
