By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
