dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize