I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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