i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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