is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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