I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
