So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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