no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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