ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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