He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
