I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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