i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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