Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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