When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize