Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize