Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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