i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's never too late to be topless.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
