really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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