She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize