things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
