pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
