the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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