Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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