i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize