Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dating After Heartbreak
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.