Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
