I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize