That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
