Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
