I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
