She said her name was "party"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
