Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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