That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize