Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize