It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
