I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she smelled like a LAN party
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
