he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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