All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's rum buckets o'clock
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
