My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
