If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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