Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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