How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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