Welp...herpes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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