i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
