I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
