I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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