could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
