Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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