I didn't shave. On purpose
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
