his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
