I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
