i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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